I am Sr. Abida Anwer Baig CSJ from the Region of Pakistan and I am sharing here how I have struggled mentally, physically and even spiritually because it was not easy for me to take it especially the number of deaths which was increasing day by day and then even hourly record horrified me so much that I could not bear it.
I was really shattered spiritually, when I heard about my mother and elder sister that they are sick and were having the same symptoms of the corona virus. I thought to myself that this is the end of the world. I could not pray properly and then I talked to my spiritual director and shared with him about my mental and spiritual state. He then helped me to be able to go through and experience the grace of God in these situations. With his directions I started reading Psalm no. 22 and 91 and recited the rosary constantly throughout the day with strong faith and conviction which also gave me courage to trust God whole heartedly and I can say that God through this experience wanted me to go into the deep and experience his love, mercy, protection and healing.
I want to share this as well that during this time of struggle my relationship with God has become more stronger than before that how He helped me when I needed and asked His grace to work in and through me. Because I was so much afraid after listening and watching the different news which were not positive at all and I too started making people making fearful. There was no hope in my words and then I pleaded God to help me that my words may be the words of hopefulness for others and that people may experience the love and loving providence of merciful, loving and forgiving God. I was able to broadened my circle of prayer means I was able to see and feel the suffering of the people around the world who were going through this time of mental illnesses and anxieties and prayed for them all and became the blessings of hopefulness in their lives. I could face the realities around me and of the world.
As I came out of my fearfulness, I began to experience so many positive things happening around me and I have developed creativeness in me like I learnt the Crochet pullovers, muffler etc. Developed the habit of reading and then cooking as well. So now I thank God for having me gone through these experiences that I am strengthened in my love relationship with Him. I rely on His divine providence which always en wrapped us. I ask God\´s grace to continue to work in us in His own unexpected ways and keep us firm in our faith ever.
